Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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