Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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