HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
