Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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