The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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