I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
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