Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Randomize
