I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
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