at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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