why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
2 weeks into this dating someone with money thing and I already don't know if I can go back to the being poor life
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
