I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
If its not for food we ain't going out.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
