I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
Just got a lecture from Dad about how I need to be more responsible and start buying my weed in larger quantities so that i can save money. Like he was serious and kind of disappointed in me for not adapting to his method earlier.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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