people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
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