Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
i believe in u and ur pee
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
