I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Randomize