i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Randomize
