How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
