If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
Randomize
