Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
