...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
