Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
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