What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
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