If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
