So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
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I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
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We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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