I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
Woke up with a $100 bill from the Philippines in my bra & an unopened box of sour patch kids next to me. I have some questions.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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