we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
So my flight takes off at 8am. Does this mean I need to break my airport bar pre-flight ritual?
Aren't you the one who taught me that airports are the judgement-free drinking zone?
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
