Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
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