I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
