it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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