mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Randomize
