Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
