im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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