I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Randomize
