I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
