She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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