Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Randomize
