I'm really into asian looking animals
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Randomize
