It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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