Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
