i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize