Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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