...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
