Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
