I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
