windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
Randomize
