I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
