i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize