Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I got inside last night via doggy door
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Randomize
