He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
