Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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