If that was your dad, he is hot
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Found a waterbottle filled with a bloody mary in my purse this morning. Blacked-out me is always trying to help hungover me, it's so cute.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Having him as a wingman is like telling the girl you already have aids
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize
