I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
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I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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