hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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