You smell like a Billy Joel song
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i want to swaddle you in tequila
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
you had me at cake vodka
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
