Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
I am trying to think of a way to tell him about thanksgiving and the following weekend in a way that makes me sound funny and exciting and not like an alcoholic
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
