doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i kind of just want to tell my cleaning lady I'm an alcoholic so it's not awkward when I stumble out of my room to go sit in my car for 2 hours and wait for her to finish cleaning the several empty bottles of wine in my room
he convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. he slurred every word. i think i found my prince charming.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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