i was rollin on her like bob the builder
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Randomize
