the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
