he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
