omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
there's paper in my vomit.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
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